Martes, Mayo 28, 2013

"PATPAT"

Is beating a good discipline?

 

I got surprised how my uncle was able to pass the punishment my grandfather gave him without showing so much pain …he stood up as if he was not feeling pain at all! He even smiled at me!!!…oh, so wise! He placed a paper carton inside his shorts!!! Good defense!!!...hahaha!

At the count of 4, she should be laying on a bench facing the floor to receive the punishment for doing foolishness. Funny she did not feel the first
blow…but the second and the third pained badly as the fourth strike landed on her hands. It felt like her shorts fabric stick to her skin. The wooden stick used with her is made of bamboo. The “patpat” that was used was believed to be the most painful kind of wooden stick used against a skin that even snakes could not bear the pain of its strikes. She felt intense pain and hurt that so many tears went falling without any warning.

She was considered a fool that’s why she was beaten. It was a mark in her life to remember that she should not repeat the same mistake.


Proverbs 10:13

New International Version (NIV)
13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,
    but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense.
See: www.biblegateway.com

Kawikaan 10:13 (Tagalog)
Magandang Balita Biblia (TPV)
Sa labi ng may unawa matatagpuan ang karunungan, ngunit sa likod ng isang mangmang, pamalo ang kailangan.

She was beaten over a peso coin given to her by her mom. She said it was hers. She was 4yrs young…not so intelligent enough to weigh that an encouragement from an older cousin to buy a whole bunch of “plastic balloon” using “her money would make her mother so angry.

After the punishment, she stayed silently in a corner crying without a sound.  She only moved to drink a glass of water but before she was able to drink she had an attack… her arms and legs twisted…tongue felt numbed and could not breath. She was not able to stand, walk or hold anything and she fainted.

It was only after the incident that her mom explained that the peso coin handed to her was not really hers and was just entrusted to keep it for her. She was not aware of the value of the coin and granting her cousin’s request is a big a waste of money. Had she known it earlier, she could have not done the foolishness that led to her punishment and sickness.

What does this beating incident gave her? She did gain and loss something…she gained hate and fear and lost her generosity.

Must we beat our children to discipline them? Do we educate/inform our children enough of what we wish them to do in order to avoid mistakes? In some un-avoidable circumstances, is hurting our children a necessity in order for them to become a better person? Do they really become better or they became worse?

Prayer:
Our Heavenly Father.  As parents, we want to teach our children well. Thank you for letting us know that we should educate our children not only with school academics but all about the walks of life…to let them have the wisdom and be a person with discernment instead of treating them as a fool that needs to be beaten. We know that all of the wisdom we need to share with our children and fellowmen would only come from you…the patience to explain, teach and analyze situation. We thank you , Lord God. Help us maintain a harmonious family relationship. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Lesson Learned:

Mistake can be avoided with proper education.

35 komento:

  1. I can't see myself beating my kids in the future. A heart to heart talk will do, I guess.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. This is more educated approach and I think effective as I have seen with my nieces. Respect of feelings too are there! God bless, Lady Anne!

      Burahin
  2. Don't let the emotion overpower you, found out the cause and take some proper action. I would not go that far with my kids, like beat them to death. Discipline can be made in a lot of ways, as a parent of two makukulit, patience! patience! is the key. I let them stand on the corner for couple minute to an hour depending on how they behave, it works every time.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. So true, Melgie. Discipline can really have different approach and a corner standing I think is a better way than beating. I glad we are mature. God bless!

      Burahin
  3. I was encouraged to "palo" my children. But, my hands are so heavy and what my boss said was right, "Masakit ang palo ng isang ina." So, I won't do corporal punishment.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. Oh..heavy hands!!! "Takot ako maging nanay ka!" hahaha just kidding. But I agree..masakit talaga when it comes from a mom.

      Burahin
  4. IT depends and I don't think it is that effective.. for me I do have cane around the house.. just need to beat once then they rememeber not to do it..however it is better that they understand why they are being punished.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. oh..a mommy with a cane! "takbuhan naaaaaaa!" haha..just kidding.

      Burahin
  5. I grew up with corporal punishment or "palo." When I was young, my father would beat me with a leather belt (with the metal handle at that) if I don't sleep. When I grew older, my mom would hit me with a slipper (or whatever was near her) if I talked back to her. There was even a time she threw a bowl at me; the mark is still in my forehead.

    Did these make me a better person? I'm not sure. Would I do the same to my son? I don't know; I sure wouldn't want to. Thinking about it, I'm inclined to do a "removal of entitlement" as a form of discipline instead of hitting. I don't want my home to be a house of violence.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. Good heavens! Marie...I want to hug and comfort you for the beatings you had. I got teary as I learned you got a mark on a forehead...its should not be like that. I pray god to soothe what ever pain it gave you (if you still have). Knowing that you have the aim to make your house peaceful, I pray that you would continue to be a loving Mom. God bless!

      Burahin
  6. As much as I can tolerate Matt I will not hit him. Mahirap na kasi un ang maalala nya when he grow old. Pero minsan hindi man sinasadya dahilsa bugso ng damdamin, pagod at stressn nadadampian ng kamay ko ang balat nya, hehe. Pero that will make me feel so guilty after. And un nga parang wala naman naitulong nasaktan ko pa ang anak ko.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. A bit of a tap won't hurt unlike with a use of "Patpat". It would help the best of we can explain well to our children why we have to tap them...perhaps next time..itinaas mo pa lang ang kamay mo..alam na niya. Children nowadays are much intelligent..and sobrang intelligent si Matt. (Ingat lang, baka matutong makipag debate yan agad hehehe..kidding!)

      Burahin
  7. As much as possible, it is best to let kids see the reason why a deed is wrong. Although I am not all out for sparing the rod, I think if there are other ways of incorporating punishment, then it's best to start with those. There are parents kasi who get carried away with punishment like your example that it back fires.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. "it is best to let kids see the reason why a deed is wrong"- I strongly agree with this Sis. Aileen!
      "There are parents kasi who get carried away with punishment like your example that it back fires"- this is a sad truth.

      Burahin
  8. Keeping a temper as a parent is really hard, but we must put in mind that beating a child will do more harm (physically, emotionally) than good.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. So very very true, hushiella. The physical harm heals faster than the emotional bruises and pain.

      Burahin
  9. As much as I dont want to agree, I think disciplining your kid will be a combination of fear, lessons, and emotional and physical punishment. I don't know but I guess, I feel like kids now are very spoiled and spoonfed "mashdo na baby" that we are coming into a society where kids think it's ok to answer back or to manipulate their parents.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. "I feel like kids now are very spoiled and spoonfed "mashdo na baby" that we are coming into a society where kids think it's ok to answer back or to manipulate their parents."- I have seen so many parents who has this kind of children, specially if they only have one child. Unico Hijo or Hija but there are also some who have one child but believe me, "nganga ang sister mo." very well disciplined. "May breeding" nga if other would say and was never beaten. Well mannered and educated. I salute this type of parents. God bless! :)

      Burahin
  10. i won't allow any kid to be beaten...i pity them, that is child abuse and it has a negative consequence in their development; i think to discipline a kid, a mom/dad or any adult has set of rules, it should be discussed, understood and followed by the kid

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. Very well said, reese. I'm glad that many of us like you understand the importance of knowing that beating has its negative effect. God bless! :)

      Burahin
  11. My heart was hurting when I read your post. We grew up na pinapalo. I had a cousin who was beaten with a bamboo stick and the stick broke because the mom hit my cuz soo bad! Nobody should hurt a child, especially if she is just 4 years old. A lot of times, I think the "palo" is done on the kids because the parents are just venting their anger/emotions/frustrations on the child. I know because I tend to be short-tempered on my children if I had a bad day. I get images of wanting to strike or slap them real bad and when this images come, I try to pray and calm myself...

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. oops, something wrong with my post. "we grew up na pinapalo" meant decades ago, it was the norm for discipline for Filipino children, but my mom was a wonderful lady (she was supposed to be a teacher but ended up in the government practice) and never did "palo" me or my brother.

      Burahin
  12. I wasn't spanked when I was little. Siguro meron once lang. I'm against it. It does work kasi diba it works for animals? So there is a psychology around it. If a certain action is followed by pain, it must not be good. the subject will try to avoid the pain by avoiding the action. Pero how many times does it have to be done for it to work? Masyadong marami, and once is too much. So no, hindi sya para sa bata. Besides, hindi naman yung reason bakit mali ang naaalala nila. So they will do other 'wrong things' or forbidden things, because they don't know better.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. Agree ako, Vera. It can be done for animals..but not with children.

      Burahin
  13. as far as i can remember, i wasn't beat as in beat talaga when i was young. btw, i was raised by my grannies since i was born. now that i am a mom, parang i can't imagine beating my son, just knowing that his skin and his entire body was formed and developed inside my womb, i couldn't imagine it. i feel like i'm beating myself, too. i just try my best to calm myself and imagine my baby talking to me and saying, "nanay, baby pa po kasi ako, please be patient with me.". :-)

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. I agree with you, Van. the fact that we could not even allow a single insect touch the skin of our children, it is wrong to beat them blue just because they made a mistake...buti pa san if that is a criminal offense..but I doubt that children could be able to do that.

      Burahin
  14. i raise my voice when i need to tell the kids that something they did was wrong...

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. Good discipline...I witnessed my aunt who never hurt children. They grew up being talked to, so when my aunt had an angry voice, her children were alarmed enough already. They knew they made a mistake. I like this kind of discipline. Diplomatic.

      Burahin
  15. i did experience this when i was young.. but when i reached 6 or 7 years old it never happened again. takot na ako mapalo..

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. What is it you remember? Did you remember the "how" you were beaten or the "why" you were beaten. Baka naman pat lang and not beaten to blue.

      Burahin
  16. As much as possible we avoid it in our house because it only makes it worst when hitting them. It's either they would stop because they take your words or they would stop because they are threatened by the stick.

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. I choose that they would take our words..better than by the stick..It is hard to carry stick all the time.

      Burahin
  17. There's an old saying that goes, "spare the rod, spoil the child." But these days, I think children are open to discussion already. I talk to my kids as much as I could, but there was a point in their young life when I really "used the rod" on them. And they couldn't forget it and so they'd rather have the talk. :D

    TumugonBurahin
    Mga Tugon
    1. I agree with you. Meikah! Better have the talk.

      Burahin
  18. Mat tis afraid of slippers na..kasi one time, we used to spank him but very light that he can still tolerate the pain just to let him know.I know it is not right on the other side.
    Another punishment gave to him is by letting him stand facing the wall...Ayun takot na din..Kaya kapag makulit, we will simply ask him. "gusto mo magface the wall?". and he will just sit down and behave.

    TumugonBurahin